my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
