Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
