Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
