Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
