But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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