She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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