At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
