I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
