i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize