Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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