At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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