he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
