Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dicks are not precious.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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