It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
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No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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