I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize