I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
