Me. At least after what I've been through.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
