i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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