if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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