I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
