I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
