I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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