i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
