Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
