i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
