why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
