My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
