College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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