so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
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Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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