Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
