If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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