Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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