are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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