Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
