it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
