It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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