let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
