We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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