and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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