Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
