I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
