We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
