i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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