Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
