I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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