Define "chronic" masturbator.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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