Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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