3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
