Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
