We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
