apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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