I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
