that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
