I'm gonna have a badass scar
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
