I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've blown a few things in my day
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
pray to the hookup gods
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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