Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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