But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize