She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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