im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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