Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
