it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I got chris browned last night
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
