i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize