So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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