I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
